I'm Gonna Make It
by JellyBellieG
Summary: If you're looking for action, this isn't the best place to find it. Raven and Beast Boy are opening up, shutting down, and figuring it all out. Raven can feel emotions now that she's been to hell and back somewhat literally and Beast Boy finds himself letting go of the guilt of Terra as he embraces the new Raven. It's all falling into place as they find themselves growing closer.
1. Camping Out

_Raven watched as the scene in front of her unfolded. How could she let this happen, how could she have let her emotions slip so carelessly? The flames licked her feet and Beast Boy was nowhere to be found. She had thought she could save at least one of her team mates, but it seemed that the last survivor of her team was gone, too. Rage was off in the distance yet it seemed that they were staring directly through the distance and straight at Raven. She had lost and the Teen Titans were no more all because she had slipped up and let her emotions take hold of her. All because of her. _

"No!" Raven screamed as she jolted awake.

A dream. It had only been a stupid dream, but it was enough to stain her cheeks with tears in her sleep. She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and looked over at her clock. It was nearly three in the morning, she could go back to sleep if she wanted, but she knew she wouldn't. Silently she climbed out of bed and padded with her bare feet into the ops room of the tower. As she had expected, Beast Boy was still awake and watching television. At hearing her enter, he turned his head and his ears immediately perked up, and at the sight of her worry took over.

"Another nightmare, Rae?" He asked.

She nodded her head and cast her eyes to the floor as she made her way to make a cup of herbal tea. As she warmed her water she glanced over at where she thought Beast Boy was sitting, but was surprised to find that he had moved to her side without her noticing and already had her tea mug down on the counter. She smiled as she reached for it, whispering a small "thank you" in the process.

"You know, if you wanted, we could put on a movie and camp in the living room tonight. You won't be alone, and I won't be worried." Beast Boy said as he walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

"If I say yes, I get to pick the movie." She replied with a small smile tugging at her lips as she knew he would agree.

"Wouldn't have it any other way!" He said with excitement and a light turned on in his eyes.

Since she had realized she was no longer in danger, Raven had allowed herself to grow closer to the rest of the team, but with Beast Boy it had been easier. She found comfort in knowing he was there whenever she needed someone and she couldn't help but think about the late nights they had spent on the couch as they learned about one another. She knew she didn't need to worry about her father anymore, all she had to do was 'stay positive' as Beast Boy had said. And the more positive she was, the more she found that Beast Boy could make her happy without a light bulb exploding. She found that she could be angry and her rage would stay where it belonged. And when Beast Boy had kissed her not even a week earlier, she was able to feel every emotion as once without the world ending. She was safe now and it was easy to see that she was also loving her feeling of security.

"Okay, so of course I know you won't pick any of my movies and I know you won't pick Starfire's movies. Robins are documentary and Cyborg only watches animated movies or war movies which means that we have a problem. You don't have a collection yet Rae!" He sighed dramatically as he looked at her with his puppy eyes.

"My movies stay in my room, come with me to get one but don't touch anything." She said as she took as sip of her tea.

He gave her a small salute and walked like a toy soldier as he followed her through the tower hallways towards her room. She let out a small laugh and saw him falter at the sound, but he kept going. She may have been more accepting towards him, but she had still not laughed at his jokes or actions yet, so her laughing could only mean she really was warming up to him. They stopped outside of her door for a second so she could scan her palm and be allowed her entrance. As they walked in she grasped her mug with both of her hands and walked over to her shelves where she kept her movies. Beast Boy laughed a small laugh as he saw the collection in front of him. Not only was it quite vast, it contained mainly romantic comedies and haunting films.

"I don't really care about what we watch, but I only have a request that it comes from that collection since I do enjoy every movie that I own." Raven said as she took another sip of her tea.

Beast Boy nodded his head as he scanned every title in front of him. He had never known that Raven enjoyed these types of movies and was fairly surprised that she had any DVD's at all. Although he did know she had recently put a TV in her room, he didn't think she actually used it. It was obvious now that she did as he saw that each movie was in alphabetical order save for a few that were stacked off to the side. He also noticed her remote was by her bedside and he also saw she had set her tea down and was sitting in her pajamas staring out the window. She was astounding in every way to him and kept surprising him recently.

"How about this one?" He asked, raising up a case.

"The Breakfast Club? Have you watched that yet, Beast Boy?"

"No. But I've heard it's amazing!"

"Alright," she said with a sigh as she stood, "let's go back to the ops room and watch."

She reached for her tea, but instead grabbed at air as she slipped slightly from bad footing. She let out a small "oh" and had expected to hit the floor when she felt something catch her. Surprised, Raven looked up to see Beast Boy looking worried as he stood her once more.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." She said.

He looked at her and smiled after deciding she was telling the truth. Slowly he let his arms fall from Ravens body as she reached once more for her tea and they both headed out and back to the ops room.

"So then, do we want to sleep in a fort or do we want to sleep on the couches?" Beast Boy asked as he pulled two blankets and some pillows from a chest.

"Couch. It's already three-thirty in the morning, I don't want to make a fort."

Beast Boy nodded in agreement and set the blankets and pillows down as Raven put the movie in and walked back to the couch. She sat cross legged and drank the last of her tea then looked up at him with a questioning look. He just shrugged and handed her a blanket and a pillow before sitting down and grabbing the remote from the arm rest.

Within minutes of the movie starting Beast Boy was completely invested in it and Raven was struggling to keep her eyes open. She didn't want to go to sleep considering this movie was by far her favorite and she wanted to see him at the end and see his reaction to it. It was only about twenty minutes in when she felt her eyes slide shut and she let sleep take her. Beast Boy felt a small weight on his shoulder and saw that Raven had fallen asleep and her head had fallen onto her shoulder. A month or so ago he would have still been terrified, but instead of panicking he gently lowered her head down to his has lap and let her lay on him while he finished the movie. He chuckled to himself quietly as Raven snuggled her head on him and grabbed at the leg of his pajama pants, grasping in a way that she probably would for her pillow. He was consumed by the movie when his hand moved to her head and he began to pull his hand through her hair in an action unknown to himself. His focus didn't break until he noticed that Raven's breathing had become uneven and shallow. Another one.

"Raven, everything is perfect. You have nothing to be scared of. It's only a dream, it isn't real." He said quietly.

She stirred and he saw, now that her hair was out of her face, that she was crying.

"Raven," He said only slightly louder, "wake up, let me show you that you have nothing to worry about."

When she only continued to breathe in strange patterns he gave up on talking and instead cradled her as one would with a child and held her to his chest. Slowly, her breathing evened out and her eyes opened slightly moments later. She was confused as she saw him now refocused on the film and reached a hand up to her face. Tears, so she had been having a nightmare. He must have noticed.

Raven looked back up at Beast Boy who had yet to realize that Raven had woken up and decided to just go back to sleep where she was instead of drawing attention to herself. As her eyes closed, she focused in on his heartbeat and allowed herself to be mesmerized back into sleep. She would never admit to anybody that this was her favorite place to sleep as of tonight.

"Goodnight Raven." She heard Beast Boy say in a quiet voice. One that she wasn't even sure was supposed to be heard.  
>He had known she had woken up but he let her fall asleep in his arms as he watched more of the movie. It would be over soon and he would have to fall asleep eventually, but if he were to set her down she may stray off to her room and leave him alone down here. He could go back to his room since it had been cleaned just that day, and at the same time he knew he couldn't because that was where he spent his time when he had been depressed about Terra. His room was no longer an option of places to sleep, think, or live anymore. It was only where he kept his clothes and personal belongings.<p>

As the movie drew to an end, Beast Boy decided to take Raven up to her bed so she would not be woken by Robin when he came down for breakfast in thirty minutes. She needed her rest and he was going to be sure she got it.

He stood with Raven in his arms and she unconciously wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. Carefully, he maneuvered her movie back into its case and managed to carry it along with Raven up to her room to be sure that it got back to its place on her shelves. He put in the key code she had given him to her door and laid her down on her bed. As he went to stand, she let out a whimper and caught onto his shirt with her small hand. He looked down and saw her eyes had opened slightly.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked softly.

She nodded in return and it took only a half of a second for her to let go of his shirt and make room for him to lay down. He let out a small chuckle and set the movie on her bedside table as he laid down. Much to his surprise, as soon as he laid down she laid her head on him and draped her arm over him. She used her powers to lift her blanket over them and soon she was asleep and beast boy, as peaceful as he had been since Terra, closed his eyes and slipped into a comfortable sleep with his arm wrapped around Raven.


	2. Emoticlones

Raven opened her eyes and looked to her clock to see the time. It was almost noon and she had zero interest in getting out of bed. She laid still and closed her eyes once more, listening to Beast Boy's heartbeat and succumbing to just a few more moments of sleep.

"I know you're awake." She heard Beast Boy mumble through a sleepy voice.

She sighed and sat up in her bed, glancing towards the window to see that it was raining which meant that the other Titans would all be either in their respective rooms or in the ops room watching horrible reality television.

"I like your pj's by the way. For some reason I had expected you to just sleep in your...uh..uniform thingy." Beast Boy said with a smile.

She glanced down and realized he had never seen her pajamas before. It must have been a surprise for him to see that Raven owned shorts and t-shirts and not just her regular everyday wear.

"If it's a surprise to you, you'd probably be shocked to know that I have casual clothes that I keep in my dresser." She retorted.

Beast Boy glanced over to her dresser and got to his feet. Much to Raven's surprise he opened up the top drawer and immediately started to laugh.

"For some reason, I thought all of your underwear would be black. But I didn't expect lace or pink at all!" He kept laughing as he shut the drawer and moved on to the next.

She just shook her head and watched as his eyes widened in surprise. He began holding up her t-shirts and tank tops one by one as if to see that they weren't just hollograms or illusions. With every shirt he picked up and put back down Raven stood and inched closer. Although it was no shock, she noticed he wasn't refolding her things as he put them back in so she picked them up and one at a time began folding her things and placing them as Beast Boy just continued to go through and study each shirt. It wasn't until he go to the last portion of the drawer that she realized what he was about to happen to find.

"Woah! You have a shirt with me on it! Awesome!" He exclaimed.

"There's a shirt in their for each Titan. Not just you." She said in a flat response.

He just laughed and handed her the shirt, "Put it on!"

She sighed and slipped the shirt over her tanktop. He stepped back and examined the shirt that she was now standing in awkwardly. She just looked down at her feet as his eyes scanned over her.

"You should just keep that on for now, and then if we have to leave anywhere just put on your usual stuff." He said with a serious expression.

"Or not, considering I would have to hold up the entire team if there were an emergency." She responded.

Beast Boy's expression became sad for a split second before he just came to terms with it and moved on. Raven took the shirt off and folded it before placing it back into the drawer that it belonged in. The process continued as he went through her other drawers of shorts, jeans, and even her socks.

"Well, now I'm bored. What do we do now?"

Raven just looked over at the clock. It was now one-thirty and none of their team had come up to see if either of them were still breathing.

"We make our appearance." She said with dread in her voice.

She knew at this point that if her team hadn't come up to see if she was okay they would assume she was either with Beast Boy or that she just didn't want to be bothered. But she also knew that Beast Boy was usually the one to check on her, so they would know that she was with him on this quiet and all so interesting afternoon. Ten minutes later she was clothed and walking down the hallway to the ops room when the alarms began to ring signaling something was happening in Jump City.

"Titans," she heard Robin begin, "we're gonna let the police handle this one. We've got something bigger on our hands."

Raven was standing in the doorway looking around at her team mates, and they were looking at her. She felt her cheeks burn slightly and was glad that her hood could hide her face. Robin never passed up a mission, so unless the world was ending again she knew something was up.

"Sorry guys, was still getting dressed." Beast Boy said from behind her.

"Still? As in you've been getting dressed all morning?" Cyborg asked from the couch.

"No. I mean still as in I've been asleep and I barely got up when the alarms were ringing. Why aren't we heading out?" Beast Boy replied smoothly.

"It's just a small robbery, convenient store. The police will catch him." Robin spoke in a curious tone.

"Yes friends Raven and Beast Boy. The police will do the catching! For now, we must do the 'interrogating' of why you both were not present at breakfast!" Starfire said with her preppy tone.

Both Raven and Beast Boy looked at one another and, in an almost rehearsed action, respsonded to the team with a shrug and walked separate ways. Beast Boy to the couch and Raven to her collection of herbal tea. While doing so, they failed to notice that the TV was playing security footage of the night before (or the early morning) when Raven had been asleep on Beast Boy and he had been combing through her hair. Upon looking up Beast Boy felt his jaw drop and Raven felt her heart race slightly. She also felt her tea mug burst into small pieces in her hand as the TV shorted out due to her emotional attack on its wiring system.

"Dude! Now we have to get a new TV!" Cyborg all but screamed at her.

"Maybe," Raven began, "you should have minded your own buisness. Maybe, seeing as how I can't trust you, I should just go back to being shut off and mean to you all. Or maybe I should just pack my belongings and leave."

Beast Boy felt his ears fall as he looked over at Raven who was obviously very frustrated. He could see her emotion behind her eyes and, as he focused a little more, he could see that she was beginning to feel rage towards the other three. Possibly even him.

"How do you expect to trust me when you do things like this to me? We, as a team, have always trusted one another. But now I can't look at any of you without-"

Beast Boy watched as her eyes parted into four crimson red bulbs and her hands glowed with power. He looked at Cyborg and Robin and saw fear in their eyes, and at Starfire who only looked ashamed at her actions.

"Raven, don't do this." Beast Boy spoke in a soft voice.

She shifted her line of sight, focusing only on Beast Boy. "Silly little boy, I listen to no one."

"Raven I'm not asking you to listen to me, I'm asking you to listen to yourself. What would happen if you hurt us? We are a family, we need one another. Without us you would have to find another family, but it wouldn't be the same." He said in a stern voice.

The other three kept their eyes on Raven and their ears on Beast Boy who had a very valid point. They watched as Raven began to calm down, her power draining from her hands and her eyes returning to normal. When she came back to her senses they all saw tears forming in her eyes, but that wasn't what they were really looking at. She didn't care to look at the rest of the team, but she did look directly at Beast Boy as she wiped her eyes and walked directly to him. She approached him and engulfed him in a hug.

"You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be just fine." Beast Boy spoke into her ear as she gripped tighter onto his shirt in a desperate attempt to hold herself together.

Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg all made their way out of the room and left Beast Boy to calm Raven. As soon as the other three had left the room Raven felt a sob escape her body at the realization of how careless her actions had been. She had almost hurt her team because of something petty and small. She had fallen asleep, there was nothing there to be ashamed of. But because they decided to sneak around instead of simply asking she had found herself frustrated and offended at their actions. She clutched on to Beast Boy as another sob broke through her body. Several minutes later she felt herself being led to the couch as sobs tore through her.

"It's okay to cry, we all do it. Sometimes it just has to happen." Beast Boy said with flat ears and understanding in his voice.

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked through her tears into his eyes.

"Something is wrong. I have to go into my mind and see what's happening." She said in a strained voice.

All Beast Boy could do was look at her in confusion until he saw her emotions switch from sorrow to happiness in an instant as she began to giggle uncontrollably in side clenching fits. Now he understood what she had meant and stood with a giggling Raven in his arms. As quickly as they had left her room they were now headed back for Raven to figure herself out. As soon as she was in her room she reached for her mirror.

"You can join me, but just know that if you don't I'll be facing whatever is happening alone." She said in her usual monotone before the mirror pulled her in.

Beast Boy glanced at the door and back at the mirror before deciding to follow, but even if he had decided against it the mirror itself pulled him in. As he expected Raven was waiting for him on the other side. Along with pink Raven, grey Raven, and yellow Raven. All different emotions yet all still Raven.

"I don't get why you need so many different Raven's. Just one of you is perfect enough." Beast Boy muttered to himself before he realized that with four Raven's it was impossible not to be heard.

"Now isn't the time, just help me figure it out!" Normal Raven snapped at him.

Before either of them could really take a step, all of Raven's emotions were standing in front of her and all of them were in an uproar trying to talk over the Raven next to them. But the only one that was really standing out to him was the Raven that reached for him for protection. His Raven, who would never admit to grasping his hand and hiding behind him.

"We can leave now," she said in a rush, "I know exactly who's to blame for this."

Beast Boy and Raven resurfaced in Raven's room intact. Before he could speak, Beast Boy found himself being pushed out the door. As Raven saw it slide shut behind him she picked her mirror up and slipped back into her mind.

"QUIET!" She yelled out across the sea of her emotions.

She looked precisely at passion who was standing with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips.

"I've been waiting for you to notice me." Passion shouted out to Raven.

"How could I not. You've been forcing emotions out of me when it's least convenient. What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying to make you realize," Passion said as she waltzed over to where Raven stood, "that Beast Boy brings out the love in you. Well. The me in you. And it seemed the only way to get you here to notice me was to force the others to act out a little more than usual."

Raven felt her breath escape her before she felt her cheeks set on fire. "Love? No. Beast Boy... he's just there for me and I'm appreciative."

"This is a fight for another day, darling. I'll leave you alone now that I've brought myself to your attention."

Without her consent, Raven was pushed out of Nevermore and back into her bedroom. Confusion and irritation pulsed in her veins. Love? That wasn't possible. She was just Accepting Beast Boys friendship. And his kiss that one time. And looking to him for comfort, and allowing herself to be vulnerable around him.

"Raven," she heard him knock on her door, "Raven I know you want to be alone but whenever you're uh... done... I guess, let me know."

She heard his footsteps slowly fade down the hallway and disappear completely. The worry in his voice had her heart tight and the only way she could describe what she wanted to say wouldn't come out.

_Don't go. I love you, maybe. _


End file.
